Before starting this blog, I read lots of advice about how to approach writing and took the experiences of many other bloggers into account while creating a strategy for it. I read that it was inevitable that after a few months, the drive for the blog will begin to fade. After those burning topics that you always wanted to talk about had been shared with the world, and the following still hadn’t grown to the levels you hoped, you will begin to become disheartened with your blog and will want to quit. The advice I heard over and over again was don’t give up. I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts that I have a habit of picking up projects for a little while and then dumping it by the wayside. Only a few months ago, I poured so much time into planning a novel. I planned it in so much detail that I completely ruined the experience for myself. It started to become more of a chore than something I was excited about. Sadly, this is also becoming the case with this blog.
I am not writing this post to whine or even to solicit encouragement or feedback. But I decided before I even started writing my first post that this space would be mine to use to talk about anything and everything in a frank and honest manner. I also want to share this very real experience with the rest of the world because to pretend it doesn’t exist is just silly. Writing a blog – a consistent one anyway – is hard. Thinking up two posts a week and finding the time to write it isn’t easy. Consistently posting on social media and feeling like you are talking into a vacuum is incredibly demotivating.
The brain goes to dark places. When you see that other people have started similar projects and in that time have gained a much larger following (and, of course, when watching others it always looks so easy), feelings of insecurity, jealousness, and bitterness bubble to the surface. I am still learning how to deal with these feelings. But it’s hard. You start to think that maybe you just aren’t cut out for it, and the temptation to give up grows.
But I won’t give up. I already decided that I will try this for at least a year before making a decision like that. So in the meantime, I will go through ups and downs, but I will continue to push out content about the things that matter to me. That is another decision I made myself. I am not interesting in filling a niche. I do not want to write a ‘travel blog’ or a ‘book blog’. Other people do that and that’s fine. But I don’t have a single passion that I care about enough to focus on just that. In fact, I think if I decided to dedicate this blog to only one of my hobbies, it would ruin that hobby for me. I want to write about a range of subjects and hopefully other people can find things here that might interest them too. But writers block is a horrible feeling – especially when coupled with a non-negotiable (although obviously self-imposed) rule of producing two posts a week. I keep a list of subjects to cover on my laptop and nowadays when I come to choose one none of them ignite a spark in me, and I find it very difficult to think of new ones. Perhaps I need to give the blog more time, perhaps I need a break. I’m not sure. I would be interested to hear from fellow bloggers what they have done to combat this feeling as I know I can’t be the only person who has ever experienced this.